McStealth

topic posted Thu, July 15, 2004 - 9:56 PM by  steve
I'm Arthur McStealth, but my friend Bobby calls me McPig. Sometimes McPiglet. My boss, Captain Wilson, calls me the worst cop in America. My partner, Officer Lucy Kim, say's I'm a nice guy though just too white for my own good. She also says I was born in the year of the Pig. The Pig again. Just because I think that some of our laws are poorly written, and just because I've only ever arrested one person in my 9 years on the force, and just because I usually give warnings instead of tickets to people i catch in speed traps ( i even hate to do speed traps, i'm sure that radar gun is giving people cancer) my boss hates my guts. Captain Wilson is out to get me off the force. He say's guys like me should join the peace corps. And now he wants to see me in his office about some "special assignment."
posted by:
steve
Los Angeles
  • Special Assignment - just how brain dead does Wilson think I am, anyways? Everyone knows what "special" means today. It means you ride the short bus wearing a hockey helmet or you get hung out to dry on a political nightmare of a case that no one can solve. The election was coming up, and the D. A. was as desperate as a 35 year old model at a Botox convention to catch "The Wrench".

    I had a bad feeling I was about to inherit the case that had cost Connor his badge.

    I pulled my brown polyester sports coat on over my blue shirt, figuring maybe if I kept it buttoned it would cover the coffee stain. I buttoned it and looked down. It might have worked if the jacket hadn't been liberally sprinkled with powdered sugar. NOT, mind you, that I would be caught dead eating powdered sugar donuts, but in this cliche ridden department, my co- workers have a severely warped sense of humor. Comes from hearing about the sick things people like the Wrench do for kicks. I headed toward Wilson's office. Someone needed to catch the bastard, and I was starting to think it was going to have to be yours truly.
    • Unsu...
       
      Wilson's office door was closed and the shades were drawn. Nothing unusual about that. Wilson hated living in a fishbowl, so to speak. He always shut the world out.

      What was unusual was the laughter that came from behind the door. Wilson was about as lively as a roll of beans in a chinese market. There was someone else in there with him, someone with a high-pitched shrill laugh that grated on your nerves. What cliche would fit here? Finger nails on a black board? Subway trails rounding a bend? I could hardly wait.

      I reached for the door knob.
      • Someone else beat me to it. The door swung open and a small shape emerged from Wilson's office. I got a quick impression of spikey neon hair and a whiff of patchouli just before the person ran right into me.

        So much for my sharply honed cop's reflexes.

        At least I caught her as she stumbled, helping to right her. She was a tiny thing, 14 tops. Her hair had been chopped short - 10 bucks said she'd done it herself - and dyed neon pink with blue tips. She wore enough makeup to keep Avon in business for a decade, half of it things I couldn't put a name to. It gave her a tarty, exotic look that was appealing and repulsive at the same time. Appealing because it leant her the air of someone twice her age. Repulsive for the same reason. I don't have kids of my own, but I knew I was looking at a father's nightmare in the flesh.

        A row of earrings, delicate gold droplets that shivered with every breath, lined one ear, but the other was completely bare.

        Her clothes were out of step with the rest of her. Plain white shirt, immaculately clean and neatly buttoned, plaid skirt that stopped at her knees, and plain dark shoes. It hit me belatedly that she was wearing a school uniform.

        I managed, just barely, to keep my mouth from falling open. I squinted at the face again, and mentally replaced the neon messy hair with long light brown curls.

        "Emily?" Wilson's oldest daughter, the science whiz kid. The shy bookworm who had taken honors in one of the city's most prestigious science contests with a paper about nanotechnology and neuropsychopharmacology. Basically, robots repairing brain chemistry that had gone haywire. It had sounded more like Star Trek than science to me but I could tell Wilson had been proud despite the nonchalance in his voice when he had grumbled about taking time off work to attend the award ceremony last year.

        From behind Emily came Wilson's curt voice.

        "Yes, Emily. Meet your new assignment, MacStealth."
        • Well, didn't i just know this was going to be a nightmare?

          I could sense one of only a handful of serious probabilities and none of them were very reassuring. Either the kid had seen something she shouldn't have and suddenly decided he trusted me, of all people to take care of his kid, i was being volunteered for the kind of career-day assignement that when left in the hands of cops like me caused the department's Public Relations team to wince, or, scariest of all. i was being volunteered to be the guinea pig for one of Emily's science projects.

          I held my breath while i waited for Wilson to explain further...

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