i am a dog and i like to go outside the town when the sun goes down. sometimes one of my sisters comes by and we wrestle and race and run a bit, then listen to the sky and think about the dog star and wonder if there are other planets with dogs on them. usually i go home when it starts to get light so my provider can feed me before she goes away for the day. i was about to go home today when i heard some a-hole blowing one of those annoying dog whistles.
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Los Angeles
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Re: Soggy Dog Story
Fri, May 21, 2004 - 12:54 PMWhenever someone blows one of those whistles we dogs run to them to tell them "Please stop, this hurts our ears!" somehow it only makes them smile and do it more. this time I heard that noise I ran under the porch, covered my ears with my paws and howled "Noooooooo." When I looked up I saw a shadow through the floorboards. -
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Re: Soggy Dog Story
Wed, May 26, 2004 - 1:22 PM"Come on out from under there, Smiley. Let's you en me go huntin'." Shit. Here was Nelson, my provider's brother. What is it with these people? Do I not have a life of my own? Do I not have an agenda, things to get done, places to pee and butts to sniff? Nelson's sense of smell is pathetic, so he likes to get me to sniff out a possum or a rabbit for him so he can shoot it and make some horrid lumpy stinking stew. I waitied beneath the porch as long as I could, until his voice started to get that really whiny pleading tone which I detest. I went out and faced him. I had come across the scent of a skunk that morning and had of course avoided it. Maybe this could be fun. If I was careful. -
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Re: Soggy Dog Story
Mon, May 31, 2004 - 1:28 AMSo, I went hunting with Nelson. As usual, he couldn't smell a damn thing, so I had to do all the work. I picked up the trail of that skunk, and started leading Nelson straight to it. He's so stupid, he had no idea what I'd planned to do. "Go get him, Smiley," he yelled. So, I ran until I found that skunk. Then, I chased it right at Nelson. It was so scared, it ran right up his leg! Nelson picked it up, and he got a very nasty surprise! That skunk sprayed him right in the face. I couldn't stop laughing to myself. Guess we won't be having any nasty, lumpy, stinking stew for supper tonight. -
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Unsu...
Re: Soggy Dog Story
Tue, June 15, 2004 - 10:08 PMarrroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! -
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Unsu...
Re: Soggy Dog Story
Tue, June 15, 2004 - 10:10 PMSo I ditcheded Nelson und vent to find sum catties. I bee likings zee catties und I had bin sniffin' zee wind und gottedd
zee nosefull o' sum fresh siamese twin catties zat rich ladye down zee sttrreet gots frum zee breeeder. I vanted to chex zem outtings und mebbe wrassle wit dem. -
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Re: Soggy Dog Story
Wed, June 16, 2004 - 2:52 PMI went to where i thought the siamese would be only to find a persian shorthair and a vietnamese ocelot discussing the ins and out of the dried-fish import/export racket. I rushed up to sniff some butt and they both looked at me like I was insane. The persian took a swipe at me and vietnamese jumped up on my back. I ran as fast as I could and suddenly stopped, sending the her flying over my head and into the cactus patch. "Good Morning, Vietnam!" I barked, and made my way towards the back door of the University Laboratory for Experimental Physics. -
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Re: Soggy Dog Story
Sun, June 27, 2004 - 11:37 PMWhere I discovered they've been doing genetic mutational blending.That was when I saw him...the love of my life...a cat/dog! He appeared to be a cross between a Malamute and a Maine Coon cat, and was he well hung!When he smelled me, his lipstick perked right up, and low and behold, it was barbed like a cats! I went up to sniff his butt, and he had a musky doggy smell, and when I gave it a little phlehmen taste, his tail shot straight up and the hairs all stood on end, his back arching like a halloween cat! Then he jumped around, pinned me to the ground and bit my neck so hard, I melted into a submissive puddle...
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